Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Toys Agender

It's not enough just to market toys as gender neutral to avoid stereotyping. The toys themselves must cross the gender barrier. Experience shows that boys and girls tend to gravitate towards certain types of toys no matter what their upbringing, but by combining their modes of play we can bring both together.

Take the dolls house, that picture of domesticity in miniature. Normally we might find little Maddyson's dolls happily baking cakes in the kitchen, but with the simple addition of Ninja traps and a samurai sword above the fireplace her brother Justeece's dolls will be putting down their beers next to the sofa in front of the television and be fighting off a bikie home invasion beside her in no time.

Fowbia will be sure to join in  Roofuss' toy soldiers game when she discover's Army HQ is equipped with a complete wardrobe of uniforms, including one for the post battle fairy princess ball.
Pretty In Pink Darlene Vader, because the Dark Side of the Force is for everyone.

Assault rifle accessories for Barbie. It's important for boys to understand women are part of the military now.
Simple changes such as these will help children break down gender stereotypes and help ensure that the next generation grows up in a post feminist gender equal society.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Lord of the Rings: The Sequel

We left the Return of the King with many of the main characters sailing towards the lands to the west of Middle Earth. The movie opens with them being intercepted by a customs vessel and taken to a tropical island.

Legolas and Gimli enter the immigration office.

Immigration officer: "You two aren't married are you?"

Legolas & Gimli: "No!"

Legolas: "I am married to the fair Miranda who tarries on your shores."

Officer: "Blonde, white and married to model. Legless, did you say your name was? I reckon you'll fit in around Bondi Beach with the rest of your kind. Go through."

Officer: "And you shorty? Why're you here?"

Gimli: "I am a dwarf."

Officer: "Righto, off to the mines in the far western lands for you."

Frodo and Gandalf arrive.

Officer: "More bloody Kiwis. Look Gandalf, you know our laws are more ancient here. We don't recognise your types' partnerships. It's just you and your staff, y'hear? Okay, ya pansy, go through."

Officer: "And you Frodo Baggins, is it?"

Frodo: "You know sir that you must let me pass, for our lands have a special arrangement."

Officer: "Not so fast mate. The rules are different for criminals."

Frodo: "I am not a criminal!"

Officer: "A Mr Smeagol would like to disagree with you. He claims that you stole his precious."

Frodo: "It was not his to begin with!"

Officer: "Yes, well a certain ex resident of these lands, a Mr Sauron, agrees with you there. But receiving a stolen good is indeed a crime in itself. Give me a good reason not to cancel your visa now."

Frodo: "I saved the people of Middle Earth from a lifetime of servitude to evil."

Officer: "That's not how Gina sees it. It's okay for your hippy Council of Elrond to go around with your talk of freedom and fairness for all, but the Business Council here supports Work Choices. Visa denied!"

And so it came to pass that Frodo was sent to Villawood, which was like Mirkwood, only darker still, and there he began a new quest, one that would take him on a quest across the world to Sweden and London while the forces of the great darkness try to prevent him from reaching Ecuador.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Jesus enter me

Waking to the cock's crow
My love for you begins to flow
Jesus enter me

I know you are there
Take me anywhere
Jesus enter me

Juices of thine
Flow like white wine
Jesus enter me

When you come
I am struck dumb
Jesus enter me

Naked are my feelings to see
When I feel your love surround me
Swimming in your golden glory
Then you know my passion for thee

My soul you save
Though you need a shave
Jesus enter me

My arse is sore
But I want you more
Jesus enter me

Jesus I have to say
I really think you're...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Words of Wisdom Teeth

Cardigans are a sign of weakness.

Cheese melts.

Way up your options: This is called supersizing.

Leadership is all about following best practice.

Bean there. Done that.

Track your training, otherwise you will be derailed.

You freak!

Innovation is risky. The easiest thing is just to ban it.

Those who make coleslaw aspire to grate things.

Runs are for loos, sirs.

If it's part of the solution then it should be dissolved.

Management issues statements on issues management.

Trees are green and Fred's a goldfish.

Be responsible, don't flea, live in the hair, and now...