Monday, May 27, 2013

Jesus enter me

Waking to the cock's crow
My love for you begins to flow
Jesus enter me

I know you are there
Take me anywhere
Jesus enter me

Juices of thine
Flow like white wine
Jesus enter me

When you come
I am struck dumb
Jesus enter me

Naked are my feelings to see
When I feel your love surround me
Swimming in your golden glory
Then you know my passion for thee

My soul you save
Though you need a shave
Jesus enter me

My arse is sore
But I want you more
Jesus enter me

Jesus I have to say
I really think you're...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Words of Wisdom Teeth


Cardigans are a sign of weakness.

Cheese melts.

Way up your options: This is called supersizing.

Leadership is all about following best practice.

Bean there. Done that.

Track your training, otherwise you will be derailed.

You freak!

Innovation is risky. The easiest thing is just to ban it.

Those who make coleslaw aspire to grate things.

Runs are for loos, sirs.

If it's part of the solution then it should be dissolved.

Management issues statements on issues management.

Trees are green and Fred's a goldfish.

Be responsible, don't flea, live in the hair, and now...

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Laughing Gnomes

From the creator of the Silence, the Vashta Nerada and the Weeping Angels comes a new foe of the Doctor...

The Laughing Gnomes.


"What are they?"

"The Laughing Gnomes. Whatever you do, don't look!"

"What are they and what do they do to you?"

"They're like the Weeping Angels,only worse."

"Worse how?"

"The Weeping Angels send you back in time. It might be somewhere nice or it might not. But the Laughing Gnomes send you back to a very bad time."

"When?"

"My sixth incarnation."

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The romance of Doctor Who

The Passion of the Daleks
I stared at her, my angel, standing there unmoving, statuesque, but weeping inside. Then I shut my eyes and was immediately transported to another time long ago.
He wasn't really her type. His head was a shiny dome and his skin had weird bumps all over. He was opinionated, one eyed really, and was obviously a bit of a sucker with a strong destructive streak. But he had his own wheels.
Her smooth skin glistened in the sunlight.
"I feel nothing" she intoned, despite the sparks flying between them.
"You... you delete ME", he replied.
He was letting it all hang out. Typical of a guy, always thinking with it, she smirked. She wondered if he'd be such a slave to it if she snipped it off.
There he stood, tall and dressed in a smart suit. The silent type, the kind of person you'd forget about the moment you turned away. But his touch was electric.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Policy 404

The Australian Liberal Party's website seems to be missing any policies. Here's a much more informative 404 error page for them.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Mojo Revealed?

Just what was Austin Power's mojo? You may recall that Austin's mojo is what gave him such amazing sexual prowess. You may also recall that it was stolen by a rather obese Scotsman with a hunger for infants, known as Fat Bastard. Now South Korean customs have uncovered pills from China reputed to enhance sexual performance and containing the powdered flesh of dead babies. Coincidence? I think not! Both Austin Powers and Fat Bastard were obviously users, no doubt abetted by that other evil henchman from Korea: Random Task. As Austin would say...

"Yeah baby!"

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Opening up the Bottlenose dolphin family

Scientists have recently discovered a number of additional species of the Bottlenose Dolphin (Tursiops) in Australian water. These include the shorter beaked Stubbynose, the inbetween Middynose and the Casknose dolphin, which has the interesting ability to swallow air and inflate themselves to a greater size. The most significant discovery is probably Tursiops boganus, or the Brokenbottlenose dolphin, which has been responsible for a significant number of glassings around Coogee, Bondi, and Manly beaches.